For the past two nights, George Noory hasn’t been on Coast to Coast. Of course, many people were hoping that he got fired or beaten up by Art Bell or abducted by Bigfoot. The guest host kept saying that a “bizarre encounter” had occurred. Oh boy, that could be anything! Please let it be unpleasant!
Much to my dismay, George Noory is back tonight and told his harrowing tale. Apparently, he ate a pizza roll that was too hot and burned his mouth. He even had to go to the hospital.
Now, I know that just about everyone was deceived by a pizza roll at some time or another, but what the hell? Who eats pizza rolls immediately out of the microwave? Also, is his microwave a nuclear reactor? And who the fuck goes on the radio to talk about that shit? Now he’s saying that he’s going to send the box back to the company and complain. Why, dude? Because you can’t use a microwave properly?
Still, somebody should send him a get-well-soon gift. Does Totino’s have gift baskets? Could I also add Hot Pockets and Bagel Bites?
Anyway, The Boyfriend and I were so moved that we made the Bagel Bites that were hiding in the freezer. With each bite, we toasted “To George Noory!” That was our show of solidarity. A salute to stupidity.
How does that idiot have his own radio show? Some dude called in to say that he accidentally swallowed a yellowjacket once, and George Noory asked “What does a bee taste like?” Unbelievable.